Okay, I promise this post won't be a "vent-fest" since my last one seems to have done that! We actually had a fairly nice weekend after all the madness at the end of the week. Joanna seems none the worse for the wear and actually told me on Friday afternoon that she had told her preschool teacher what happened to her eye. So, I told her that was good and that we didn't have to talk about it anymore; that it was over. Of course, on Saturday, Kyle wanted to bring it up again but I wouldn't let him. I told all of the kids that we were done talking about it; that Joanna had made a mistake and she was sorry and we don't need to bring it up again. So far, everyone has complied.
On Saturday, Charlie played soccer and then we went to a birthday party at Pump-It-Up in Chesterfield. Charlie played really well even getting a few good kicks in. All of the kids had a ball at the birthday party and after that we went to Wal-Mart to pick up Charlie's sport glasses, get a new lense for Joanna's glasses and do some grocery shopping. They were pretty good during that time. (Hard to believe, I know, but they really were!). They were tired out so after baths and shampoos, everyone fell asleep as soon as his or her head hit the pillow. Yay for me!
After church on Sunday, Kyle's preschool teacher came over to continue working on her project that involves Kyle and so all of the kids had a great afternoon playing with her. Since they really did a nice job behaving this weekend, we went to CiCi's Sunday evening and met a friend and her daughter. We stayed a bit late, but I still managed to get the kids in bed by 9:15pm. I also let them have "floats" -- ice cream in caffeine-free coke. I had been promising to make ice cream floats and actually wanted the kids to go ahead and go to bed when we got home, but they remembered that I had promised floats. So, to keep the peace, I said they could have small ones but then they had to brush their teeth and go to bed! They actually did just that. (Yes, I know, still hard to believe!).
After a weekend of fairly good behavior, Marcie needed to act out a little (I guess) so she did that when getting ready for school today. But, at least the other 3 were very cooperative, so we got out of the house on time. Phewww!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Is Livid Worse Than Rage?
I came awfully close to figuring that out this week. At the beginning of the week, I received a call from the daycare that Joanna had lost the conformer in her right eye (it is the piece that will make the space for her eye bigger). She had walked over to the teacher during naptime because she wasn't behaving and the teacher wanted to talk to her. The conformer was in at that time. Joanna then walked back to her cot and continued tossing, turning and meddling with the shelves next to her for about the next 10 minutes. When the teacher went over to Joanna's cot, she noticed the conformer was gone. Needless to say, the whole classroom was turned upside down to find that little white porcelain piece and even the 3 year old classroom got involved in case the conformer had rolled under the door into that room. Joanna was repeatedly asked by several people what had happened and she had no answer. When directly asked if she had played with it, put it in her mouth or her clothes or swallowed it, she consistently said "no." Now, remember this child is chronologically almost 5 years old....she should be able to relate an event that has happened within the past 15 minutes. She simply refused to say what had happened to the conformer despite reassurances that she was not in trouble. The assistant director called me in the hope that I could talk to Joanna and she would tell me what happened. I knew that was pointless so I declined to talk to her. I could already feel my blood pressure rising!
Over the next 2 days, we continued to press her for more information and she continued to repeatedly deny that she knew what had happened, or simply refused to answer the question. This is her usual style -- this stone-faced silence that she often displays regardless of the situation and whether or not there is any risk of punishment. I have to say that I have never met a child that young that could put up such a barrier and simply refuse to communicate, even non-verbally. I tried several ways of asking her or getting her to open up, and I even said that I just wanted to know what happened to it. I asked again on Wednesday night if she had put it in her mouth and swallowed it. She looked me directly in the eye and said, "No." I suggested to her teacher that perhaps they could engage in some puppet play and see if she would talk through the puppets. They did try that on Wednesday, and the teacher thought she had gotten a very small nod that Joanna had swallowed the conformer. On Thursday morning about 10 minutes before we had to leave for the bus stop, Joanna told me she had to go poop. When she called out that she was done, I went in and guess what was mixed in....you guessed it, this shiny white conformer. My blood pressure immediately went through the roof and I was absolutely livid. I don't think I have ever been that angry. I fussed at her for not admitting to swallowing it and let her know in no uncertain terms that I was exceedingly angry that she had not told the truth. I made her tell the people at daycare where I had found it and that seemed to be a good consequence for her because she seemed genuinely upset. Anyway, I drove to work angry, but by the late afternoon, that anger had dissipated somewhat. Last night, I noticed some soreness over my breastbone which has continued through today. I think I was so angry that I tensed up and must've remained that way all day. Needless to say, I am paying the price for that today. I can't imagine being any angrier. I think rage probably just doesn't even describe the emotion, that's why I chose livid. But, I'm not sure that describes it, either. Fortunately, the emotion fades and other than threatening to send her packing and fussing a lot, I didn't act on the anger. Boy, though, I was sure tempted....
One of the daycare teachers has graciously offered to give me a break from the kids for a few hours this weekend. I can sure use that!
Over the next 2 days, we continued to press her for more information and she continued to repeatedly deny that she knew what had happened, or simply refused to answer the question. This is her usual style -- this stone-faced silence that she often displays regardless of the situation and whether or not there is any risk of punishment. I have to say that I have never met a child that young that could put up such a barrier and simply refuse to communicate, even non-verbally. I tried several ways of asking her or getting her to open up, and I even said that I just wanted to know what happened to it. I asked again on Wednesday night if she had put it in her mouth and swallowed it. She looked me directly in the eye and said, "No." I suggested to her teacher that perhaps they could engage in some puppet play and see if she would talk through the puppets. They did try that on Wednesday, and the teacher thought she had gotten a very small nod that Joanna had swallowed the conformer. On Thursday morning about 10 minutes before we had to leave for the bus stop, Joanna told me she had to go poop. When she called out that she was done, I went in and guess what was mixed in....you guessed it, this shiny white conformer. My blood pressure immediately went through the roof and I was absolutely livid. I don't think I have ever been that angry. I fussed at her for not admitting to swallowing it and let her know in no uncertain terms that I was exceedingly angry that she had not told the truth. I made her tell the people at daycare where I had found it and that seemed to be a good consequence for her because she seemed genuinely upset. Anyway, I drove to work angry, but by the late afternoon, that anger had dissipated somewhat. Last night, I noticed some soreness over my breastbone which has continued through today. I think I was so angry that I tensed up and must've remained that way all day. Needless to say, I am paying the price for that today. I can't imagine being any angrier. I think rage probably just doesn't even describe the emotion, that's why I chose livid. But, I'm not sure that describes it, either. Fortunately, the emotion fades and other than threatening to send her packing and fussing a lot, I didn't act on the anger. Boy, though, I was sure tempted....
One of the daycare teachers has graciously offered to give me a break from the kids for a few hours this weekend. I can sure use that!
I Have Your Eyes
At the end of last week, we had gotten in the car and Charlie commented that eyes are shaped like footballs. He asked to look at my eyes and when I looked at him, he said, "yes, like footballs." I told him that I thought his eyes looked like footballs, too, and then said, "Just like mine!" It always pleases Charlie to think that he is like me in some way. During this time, Kyle had walked up to my other side in the car, and I heard this little voice saying, "Do you have my eyes, Mom?" I looked into those sweet little Asian eyes and did what every mother would do in a similar circumstance, and said, "Yes, Kyle, I have your eyes." How could I have said anything else?
Friday, September 12, 2008
Sometimes They Surprise You
After dinner last night, we went to the grocery store so that I could get ice cream, my favorite toppings for it, and bread. While we were walking through the store, Charlie said, "mentos." I stopped and said, "what," and he repeated it. I said, "where did you see that," knowing that he doesn't know about that kind of candy (I've never given it to him). He said, "Right here," and pointing to a sign, said, "see, Mom, Mentos," and then underscoring the word with his finger, said, "Men - tos." I was so proud of him...you see, reading is difficult for him and he prefers not to even try to read aloud, so for him to read the word on a box was amazing....and it's not even a word wall word! That just made my whole day and I needed something to do that because Marcie had been a bear at dinner and I had made my nieces cry, so I wasn't a happy camper going into the grocery store. Then, later on after the kids were in bed, I had some of my ice cream and felt even better!
This morning after putting Charlie and Marcie on the bus, one of my neighbors walked by with her dog (retriever type dog). Kyle just stood there and Joanna kept backing up trying to get away from the dog. The dog was not close to her nor interested in her at all but she was terrified. Kyle, who is also scared of animals, decided that the dog must be okay and followed my neighbor's lead in extending his hand to pet the dog. Then, he got brave and allowed the dog to lick his hand. Well, Kyle was won over and then started talking to my neighbor about the dog and was really interested in her. Then, the dog licked Kyle's face and he started giggling. When the dog licked him again (on the nose), he was really enthralled. By this time Joanna was crying and my neighbor and I were both trying to help her understand that the dog wouldn't hurt her. I asked her if the dog had bitten her ("No," she says), if the dog had hurt her ("no") or if the dog was even close to her (again, "no"). I told her that the dog was friendly and liked Kyle and that I would not allow her to be around the dog if I were afraid she would get hurt. (By the way, she never saw animals as pets when she was in China and she has never been hurt by a dog or cat since she's been in the U.S., so I have no idea why this fear is so extreme). Then, Kyle took her by the hand and said, "It's okay, Joanna, the dog is nice," and at one point, he was holding both of her hands. It was so sweet! She just cried harder so we left. I praised Kyle for being brave and for figuring out how to make friends with a dog. I told him that I was so proud of him, and he, of course, being a true child, asked if that meant he could have a special treat after supper tonight. I think he has earned that! :) As for Joanna, she cried again at daycare and I made her sit in the classroom by herself for a minute to regain her composure (I was with her), then reminded her again that she wasn't hurt. After that on the way to work, I wondered why I spent so much time trying to rationalize with a 4 year old!
All is not lost for Joanna, though. Last night at Wendy's she did order her own kid size Frosty and remembered to tell the waiter that she wanted chocolate. Kyle then paid for his and Joanna's Frosties while I sat at the table. Maybe I shouldn't expect 2 new positive behaviors that close together. Of course, I may find out in the future that she will need therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder because I wouldn't allow her to run away from the dog. Guess I better save some money for that. Sigh.
This morning after putting Charlie and Marcie on the bus, one of my neighbors walked by with her dog (retriever type dog). Kyle just stood there and Joanna kept backing up trying to get away from the dog. The dog was not close to her nor interested in her at all but she was terrified. Kyle, who is also scared of animals, decided that the dog must be okay and followed my neighbor's lead in extending his hand to pet the dog. Then, he got brave and allowed the dog to lick his hand. Well, Kyle was won over and then started talking to my neighbor about the dog and was really interested in her. Then, the dog licked Kyle's face and he started giggling. When the dog licked him again (on the nose), he was really enthralled. By this time Joanna was crying and my neighbor and I were both trying to help her understand that the dog wouldn't hurt her. I asked her if the dog had bitten her ("No," she says), if the dog had hurt her ("no") or if the dog was even close to her (again, "no"). I told her that the dog was friendly and liked Kyle and that I would not allow her to be around the dog if I were afraid she would get hurt. (By the way, she never saw animals as pets when she was in China and she has never been hurt by a dog or cat since she's been in the U.S., so I have no idea why this fear is so extreme). Then, Kyle took her by the hand and said, "It's okay, Joanna, the dog is nice," and at one point, he was holding both of her hands. It was so sweet! She just cried harder so we left. I praised Kyle for being brave and for figuring out how to make friends with a dog. I told him that I was so proud of him, and he, of course, being a true child, asked if that meant he could have a special treat after supper tonight. I think he has earned that! :) As for Joanna, she cried again at daycare and I made her sit in the classroom by herself for a minute to regain her composure (I was with her), then reminded her again that she wasn't hurt. After that on the way to work, I wondered why I spent so much time trying to rationalize with a 4 year old!
All is not lost for Joanna, though. Last night at Wendy's she did order her own kid size Frosty and remembered to tell the waiter that she wanted chocolate. Kyle then paid for his and Joanna's Frosties while I sat at the table. Maybe I shouldn't expect 2 new positive behaviors that close together. Of course, I may find out in the future that she will need therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder because I wouldn't allow her to run away from the dog. Guess I better save some money for that. Sigh.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lying
Our new thing at home with the younger 2 is lying. Usually, they lie about stuff they've done wrong, but Joanna is also lying about relatively minor stuff. I thought at first that she just wanted to tell me what she thinks should be the "right" answer, but there are times when it wouldn't really matter what she said. Today I got a call from the daycare saying that Joanna's small eye was watering and she said it hurt. They said that children had been throwing sand on the playground and they thought that it had gotten in her eyes. When they asked her about that, she said, "no" but then couldn't say what happened. So, I spoke to her and told her that she's not in trouble, that the teacher just needs to know what happened so that she can help her. I asked again, "were children throwing sand and rocks on the playground?" Answer, "no," question, "did you get sand in your eye?," answer, "no." So, who knows what happened. That's how it is with EVERYTHING you ask Joanna. She's also very sneaky and even when caught red-handed, will lie. Kyle usually lies about more important stuff, such as, "Are your pants wet?," "No," and they are soaked; "Did you wash your hands?," "No," and they are dirty, etc. So, I'm pretty fed up with it. At this rate they will both be in time out until they're 10, no, make that 30! Hopefully, by that time, Kyle will be keeping his pants dry. I don't think wetting his pants will go over well in college.
Calgon, take me away!!!!!
Calgon, take me away!!!!!
Flying High
The kids had a great time playing on the water slide this weekend and were getting bolder each day. On Monday, the kids and one of their friends were playing (another mom was supervising) and I was in the house working when I heard the door open and someone yell, "We need you, Marcie's been hurt!" I went outside not knowing what to expect and saw my friend holding Marcie in a towel and blood on Marcie's mouth. When I looked closer, I saw this gaping hole where one of her upper front teeth was. So, I got ice and after she calmed down, noticed that her lower tooth was a bit wiggly. I ended up calling the dentist because the hole where her tooth was was so big and then I gave her some motrin. She recovered quickly though and asked to go to CiCi's for supper so she could get a brownie and she even ate some pizza. Boy, kids sure are resilient!
So, you ask how this happened....well, my little daredevil decided to do a flip and rather than just rolling over as she was sliding down the slide (which even Kyle who just turned 4 was doing), Marcie decided to jump and flip. My friend said Marcie ended up flipping twice and going over the side of the slide rather than down it. She landed in the water but as she was landing, Marcie said her knee hit her mouth. So, now Marcie has a cut and bruised lower lip, a wiggly lower tooth, a hole where her left front tooth should be AND still her daredevil spirit!
So, you ask how this happened....well, my little daredevil decided to do a flip and rather than just rolling over as she was sliding down the slide (which even Kyle who just turned 4 was doing), Marcie decided to jump and flip. My friend said Marcie ended up flipping twice and going over the side of the slide rather than down it. She landed in the water but as she was landing, Marcie said her knee hit her mouth. So, now Marcie has a cut and bruised lower lip, a wiggly lower tooth, a hole where her left front tooth should be AND still her daredevil spirit!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)