Update!

I cannot believe it has been nearly a year since I posted. I guess trying to keep up with Facebook has distracted me from blogging! I wanted to write about Ping's story since she should be home soon! I was thinking she would be here by now, but the process has taken much longer than I expected. It was either February or March 2012 that I saw her sweet face & also saw that folks had inquired about her. However, because of her special needs, a family had not committed to her. Her picture just stayed on my mind & after much prayer, I applied for pre-approval knowing what fate might befall her were she not adopted. In July, 2012, I received that pre-approval. It took several months for me to find an agency & then get started with the paperwork. I had my initial meeting with my agency & was working on paperwork & other documentation, as well as starting the fundraising process. In December 2012, I received video from the governmental authorities in her country showing her medical condition. It was clear that she had some difficulties feeding & that she was significantly developmentally delayed. The authorities wanted me to see this so that I would know fully how she was doing. I guess they thought I would change my mind. While seeing her that way was heartwrenching, it did not change my resolve, though I did put the adoption on hold for awhile to be sure she would survive. Within a week of me getting the video, she was moved to a mission-run institution for children with medical needs. My next official update on her was after my dossier had gone to her country & she was thriving & making developmental progress. It has continued to take more time than I ever thought it would. However, I am now just waiting on the travel approval so that I can go get her. The light is at the end of the tunnel! I know that Ping has no idea what being in a family means & just how much adoption will mean in her life. Had she not had an adoptive family in process, she most likely would not have survived. For most children, adoption gives them a future, for Ping, adoption is lifesaving. We are all excited about meeting her & getting her home. I know that God has orchestrated this & He has chosen our family for Ping. He has truly put my family together in an amazing way -- each of my children have a story that points directly to divine intervention. These next few weeks will be a roller-coaster ride.... we are buckling up!

Can Anything Good Come From Nazareth?

This past Sunday, I had the family of little Teresa on my heart -- well actually, Saturday & then into Sunday. She is the little girl, born in China with a heart defect so severe that it is miraculous that she lived past her infancy. She was a survivor, though, & had expressed her desire to be adopted & have a family of her own. At 3 years of age, she was thriving, although, her adoptive parents were told that she might not even survive the plane trip home. She did & she continued to thrive. Because of her lung pressures & the damage that living with only half a heart had done, her parents were told that she would not survive heart/lung transplantation. But, Teresa had other ideas! She lived every day to the fullest -- full of love of life, her parents & Jesus. I have been reading all about her in blog posts & am amazed at how this small child could radiate so much love & joy despite needing to wear oxygen tubing & limit her activities because of her heart defect. Finally, she was deemed healthy enough to have a heart transplant (she had improved enough not to need lung transplant) & she did get one. Her mother wrote in a blog post that for a few hours while the heart was working, Teresa's toes were even pink! That heart began to fail & Teresa was put back on the heart-lung bypass machine, called ECMO, to allow the heart to rest. During her time in the ICU, her mother continued to write about Teresa's life & her will to live. Those posts were shared via social media, & prayers & well-wishes began pouring in from around the world. We learned how much this little princess  & her love for Tiara's & the Disney princesses, touched people. Ultimately, Teresa's body could not withstand the stress, & as her mother wrote, Teresa rode her princess bike into heaven to be with Jesus.

What have I learned? In spite of pain, Teresa persevered. She kept waking up despite huge doses of sedatives. She would sign that she was thirsty & she signed her love for her family. One of the things she would say was "I love you more," & she continued to sign that when she could. She had such a spunky spirit, too. She went into the OR wearing a crown & carrying one for her surgeon to wear. Her mother wrote that Teresa had a smile & a hug for everyone. This little girl embraced life! Remember, this is a child who should not have survived infancy, should not have survived a transcontinental airplane trip & definitely should not have lived until the age of 6. So many people would have seen her as a dying child from the moment she was born, yet she was a living child until the moment she died. She never gave up, even with shortness of breath, pain, insurmountable odds, that child never gave up.

This one child has impacted the lives of people around the world in a way that missionaries never would be able to. This child's life preached the gospel. Her family is carrying on for her & continuing to minister. I read in her mom's blog that Teresa's sister wanted to take a photograph of Teresa & give it to the Disney princesses. Her family went to Disney & did just that -- gave her photographs to the princesses & shared with them about Teresa's life. They touched people who were strangers to them & now those people will touch others by simply sharing how Teresa's story has impacted them.

So, Sunday in church while I was thinking about Teresa's family & listening to the sermon, the question, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" made me think, "Can anything good come out of China?" The answer is a resounding yes! Look at what a 6 year old's life has done... how she has ministered to people, the example she has given, the joie de vivre she had, the legacy she has left & the memories left with her precious family that her mother so graciously shares with us. She was an orphan in China but a precious child of God who found her forever family when she was 3. His plans for her were fulfilled in a heartbreakingly short amount of time but in a way no one could ever have anticipated.

There are many, many orphans in China & around the world who dream of families & a future of hope. They are in God's hands & the apple of His eye. Many of us are called to adopt them, others are called to help in their adoption, others minister to them in other ways & others are called to pray. When we don't respond to our calling, we are not honoring the Lord & we are in some way making the path harder for others. We don't know where a single act of obedience will lead. I doubt Teresa's parents had any idea about the impact she would have after they adopted her.

Yes, Something good came out of Nazareth. Something good is still working miracles today & touching lives. Rest in peace, dear, sweet, precious, princess Teresa, in the arms of our "Something good," the Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords, & King of Kings!

Summertime!

My favorite time of year! Actually, I think it's my kids' favorite time of the year, too, & not because school is out. They like all things summer -- pool, ocean, extended daylight, lighter clothing, pool, ocean ... You get the idea! I could, however, live without the summer bugs with the exception of lightening bugs, lady bugs & butterflies! They can stay. We celebrated 7/11 today with free slurpees! I also picked up my home study today! I thought "so excited" & then the image of Gru in Despicable Me popped into my head. I can picture him saying, "sooooo excited" when he was talking with the orphanage director about adopting his girls. I had to chuckle even though he was saying that with ulterior motives -- I am not adopting so that I can obtain the shrink ray & then steal the moon!

Just think -- this will be Ping's last summer without a family! Now, that's exciting!!!!!

Prayers for Ping

Nearly 2 weeks ago, I got a video of Ping that showed that her medical condition had deteriorated & she clearly needed some intervention. It was heart breaking; so difficult to watch. Miraculously, Cheryl Graham from IAAP was able to find a place for her & on Christmas Day, she was transferred to Maria's Big House of Hope where her medical, physical, emotional & spiritual needs may be met. I was concerned that she may be in pain & I am just so thankful that she's in a place where she will receive care & if she is in pain, it will be managed. I would've gotten on a plane that day & gone to her if I could but the best we can all do at the moment is pray for her.  Please keep her in your prayers! Happy New Year, & God bless you, little Ping!

A Home For The Holidays

There is a special that comes on at Christmas every year that I love to watch. It usually is on TV around Dec 21st but this year it is on the 19th. Unfortunately, we won't be home to watch it. :( Various music artists perform & the show highlights children that have been adopted from the US Foster Care System. At the end of the show, they typically spotlight a few waiting children.

It makes me think of children everywhere who will experience Christmas this year not knowing if they will have a family at Christmas time next year. Some are too young to really understand that, like my little Ping waiting in China. She doesn't know yet that life in an orphanage is not the way most people live or what being in a family feels like. By next Christmas, Lord willing, she will know the love of a family. There are so many more that will hope for a family but will never get one.

From Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "All I Really Want" : All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win There's so much I could ask for but there's just one thing I need All I really want for Christmas is a family.

http://www.songlyrics.com/steven-curtis-chapman/all-i-really-want-lyrics/

Pray for foster children, orphaned & abandoned children all around the world this Christmas!

It Takes A Village....

I can't believe it is nearly Thanksgiving already! I am thankful for so much. This weekend, I have experienced yet again the joy of watching my kids being encouraged & doted on by friends. We have been at church quite a bit for Glorious Christmas Nights rehearsals. Even in their most restless moments, our church family has been nothing short of encouraging to them & to me. There were some funny moments, as well, like when the music indicating the scene change didn't start quite as quickly as expected & Marcie blurted out something like, "where's the music?" (Or was it, "we need the music?"). Marcie had a ball at a sleepover with one of her friends last night & then we had the joy of taking this little girl with us to Sweet Frog while Charlie rehearsed with the youth. This little girl is full of joy & spunk & just a delight to be around. While at Sweet Frog, we saw some other friends from church & just had a nice time with them. Friday night while Charlie was rehearsing, Marcie was at her sleepover & Kyle & Joanna were quietly playing their DSI XLs, I enjoyed being able to sit & talk with another friend -- it was so nice to be able to talk with another adult, relaxing, with the kids quiet. I really appreciated that time & the support & encouragement especially for my newest adoption quest. I am truly blessed with friends who are so actively involved in my kids' lives & my life both in my community & at church. They don't understand yet the value of having so many caring adults in their lives but I do & I appreciate each & every one of you. Thank you!

Orphan Sunday

Orphan Sunday is coming to a close. Churches all around the U.S. had sermons & other activities to bring the plight of orphans to the forefront of people's minds. My church also did the same thing, beginning with a wonderful video that included the names & pictures of some of the adopted children in our church. I was so moved by the presentation, especially with seeing my children in the video! James 1:27 is one of the most widely shared scripture verses that calls attention to the responsibility of Christians with regard to orphans. Seeing the verse in the video along with some statistics about orphans is haunting. I've seen several numbers: 143 million, 147 million, 160 million.... staggering numbers of children who may have a name but no identity other than "orphan." The babies don't know they are orphans & maybe even some of the 4 & 5 year old children don't know that other children actually have parents and may have siblings but generally do not live in a home with large rooms lined with cribs or beds. Just think about how it would feel to lie down at night without knowing that someone really loves you, is committed to you, wants to sing happy birthday to you... wants to give you his or her last name. A name. A name that identifies you as someone's child, a part of a family. Some of the Chinese orphans have last names that are the names of the orphanages they are in. Sad. I find it really hard to get the little faces that I see on websites out of my mind every night. I don't know what it's like to be an orphan, to have no sense of belonging to a family, to not know how it feels to be tucked in at night by your mom or your dad. But, there are a lot of kids out there who do know those things & the numbers grow daily. We must pray for God's mercy on those children who wait, hoping for a new name, to be able to call out "Mom" or "Dad" & know there will be an answer to that call. May God bless them!

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

I actually never thought I would be going back to China for another adoption. I thought if I did go back, it would be to take Joanna back to her birth country & of course, bring the other kids for an educational trip. However, I couldn't get this little face out of my mind and when it was clear that a family was not coming forward for her, I had to ask. It seems that the Lord had me in mind as miraculously, the Chinese adoption authority gave me pre-approval to adopt her.

The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. Out of the millions of families in the world, He picks mine for this little special needs orphan and for her, a miracle. He will be plucking her out of an orphanage and uniting her with a family half a world away. Amazing!

She seems to have some physical disability in that she reportedly doesn't move and she does have club feet. So, why her? Why me? I don't know the answer to those questions. But I do know this, that God has His eyes on her, He knows her needs and He knows my family. And, now, He is putting us together. My kids are really excited and Charlie has been giving me his loose change to apply to the adoption costs. So sweet!

It will be a long process getting her here.... lots of paperwork and $. I will be doing some fundraising and also applying for adoption grants. The greatest expense is in getting her here and I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't firmly believe that I am walking in God's will. As the scriptures say, we walk by faith and not by sight! So, I have to take a deep breath, jump in and get rolling on this paperwork.... and pray a lot! Please keep us all in your prayers!

A Stranger to My Blog

Unbelievable! It has been more than 2 years since I have written a blog post. Guess that's what facebook will do for you! I haven't written a lot because, well, anyone who knows me knows what I have been up to! The kids are growing like crazy. It seems like only yesterday that they were preschoolers & now they are well into their school-age years. Charlie started middle school & has actually survived the 1st 3 days. He says he likes it & is enjoying having chorus as an elective. Marcie I think would actually be happier if she could go ahead & do her senior year of high school. She is clearly not thrilled with the kids who sit around her & really would like her friends to be in her "pod." I told her that her teacher was smarter than that! Kyle & Joanna have enjoyed getting back into the routine of school. Kyle was actually ready to go back to school several weeks ago. Look out CCPS -- here they come!

Memorial Day Weekend, And the Best Money Ever Spent

So, after dance recitals, competitions, camp-outs, Mother's Day, and the busy-ness of May, comes Memorial Day weekend. Finally, a chance to breathe! Well, maybe not. Saturday morning began on a somber note for me as I went to Pastor Fred's funeral. It was beautiful and truly a celebration of his life and legacy. While I was so happy at the thought of his joy when he entered heaven, I was also sad because I will miss his kind, gentle spirit, his thoughtful ways, his wonderful teaching and music, and his joy of life. Okay, so back on track.... after the funeral, I took the kids to Marcie's bff's birthday party. The main attraction was horseback riding, which the kids loved. Even Joanna was willing to ride, and was much less afraid than the last time she had the chance to ride (and I made her ride around the small area that first time so that she would realize that she would be safe and it would be fun). Actually, Joanna might have ridden twice that Saturday.

The thing the kids looked forward to the most after the birthday party was swimming. I joined the pool in Hopewell right down the street from my parents. I used to work there as a teen-ager and of course, played there during my childhood and adolescence. The price was so much better than at the swim club near my house, so that's why I joined that one. Anyway, I had told the kids that since the weather forecast was for rain on Sunday, we would just plan to go to the pool on Monday. Well, they noticed that there wasn't a cloud in the sky and they really wanted to swim, so I took them on Sunday. As soon as we got there, it thundered and the pool was cleared. Since it really looked like it would blow over, we stayed. Sure enough, the sun came back out and the kids were able to play. You would never have known that they hadn't been swimming since last fall. They were so happy to be able to play in the pool, and I think they got about 2 hours worth before it began thundering again. Even though we couldn't see any lightening and it wasn't raining, it did seem that there would be a storm, so we left. I think a little while later, they closed the pool, though, there serious storms didn't come until much later.

Monday was beautiful, sunny and hot, but breezy. And, there was a cook-out at the pool -- $2 per person or $5 per family! So, we took advantage of that. The pool provided hot dogs, chips, drinks and folks were asked to bring a dish. I ate much better than the kids because I enjoyed the pasta salads and other dishes but the kids did eat pretty well (they like macaroni and cheese). After that, they played in the pool for hours and I was thinking as I watched them, "that might be the best money I've ever spent." Marcie's and Kyle's swimming skills (virtually self-taught) came right back. Joanna was doing really well swimming underwater some, too. Charlie was a bit braver this year than last year and the more time the kids spent in the water, the more proficient (at a basic level), they looked. Marcie was able to jump off the diving board and swim to the side unassisted. Kyle got brave enough to jump off once and I helped him to the side, but then he was too nervous, so he didn't try again. Swimming lessons begin July 5 and I am looking forward to the kids becoming even more skilled in the water. They do have a healthy respect for the water but it is really nice to see them enjoying the water with a bit less fear than they used to have. We are looking forward to a great summer in the water! :)

Dance Recitals, Camp Outs and City Kids

May whizzed by with all of the weekend activities. First was the dance recital mid-May. Marcie was in 3 dances, only 1 of which was in the first act. My nieces were also in 3 dances and their 3rd dance was the finale! So, we were there late each night. It was okay, really, because I enjoyed it and I think my other 3 kids enjoyed it, as well. Marcie was terrific -- she really enjoyed being with her friends and flitting around as though she had been doing that for many more than the 4 years she's been involved in dance. (Wow, can't believe it's been 4 years!). My nieces also danced well. They are so beautiful and among the sweetest little girls in the whole world! The very next weekend, she had another dance competition and the boys had a Royal Rangers camp-out. Charlie went on Friday night to camp until Sunday. Kyle was too young but they had a Ranger Kids field day on Saturday, so we went to that. It was so hot and at first, I didn't think we would make it for the day. I had planned to just drop him off but the medical person who would have checked his blood sugars and given him insulin via his insulin pump was not there. He had gone to the hospital with someone else the night before (an adult leader) and hadn't yet returned, though, I was assured he was on his way back. Kyle wanted me to stay and Charlie did, too, so much to Marcie's chagrin, we stayed. We all ended up having a great time and even Marcie put her DS away several times to play a few games. The funniest part of the whole day, though, was during lunch. They had hot dogs (grilled) with buns and condiments, chips, drinks and desert cakes and cookies (prepackaged kind). This was the kind of meal my kids love but there was just one problem -- no tables. Who would you expect would be the most finicky about sitting on the ground? Marcie -- right? Well, no, she got her plate, plopped down and started eating (rare for her because of the medicine she takes -- she usually has no appetite for lunch). She ate a whole hot dog! I think she was just really happy with a canned soda. Anyway, Charlie also sat right down. Joanna needed some encouragement but she finally sat on the ground. Kyle, however, would have no part of it. Surprisingly enough, he did not want to put either his hindparts or his food on the ground. So, a friend who was there with his son put out a large, green trash bag for his son and Kyle to sit on. I chuckled about that for hours. Who would've thought that my youngest son, all boy, would be too finicky to sit on the ground?

The next day was Marcie's dance competition. The kids were really tired and Kyle clearly didn't want to be there. In the morning, Marcie did the first 2 of her dances and I was able to see them. Her ballet took 2nd and her tap dance took 1st place for points scored in her division! I left her there and went to pick Charlie up from camp. Then, we went back. They were thrilled to be able to eat at the corner Subway, but not so thrilled to be spending the remainder of the afternoon watching the competition. Marcie's other dance wasn't until around 6 in the evening. Even Joanna got a little restless but Kyle was just beside himself and could barely hold it together by later in the day. Charlie fell asleep leaning up against me ... imagine the scent of a boy who's been on a camp-out for 2 nights with no bathing facilities. Hmmm... we survived, and Marcie's Rhythm of the Night dance took 3rd place! She was so grouchy after that so I was glad to be home and get my exhausted children bathed and in bed. They were asleep not long after their little heads hit the pillow. Sweet!

Pastor Fred

Many of you know that my church family lost a beloved pastor, Fred Spivey. He died last Sunday, fittingly on Pentecost Sunday, and he was buried today on his birthday. He was a devoted son, husband, father, uncle, friend and pastor (and I'm sure there are other roles I'm leaving out). Pastor Fred also served his country. He loved the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength, and it showed. Fred was active in missions, but truly, he served wherever he found himself and ministered tirelessly to us all. He truly showed us how to live, and then how to die. The last Sunday School series he taught was on heaven, and when I found out that he had died, I just had to smile at the thought of Fred dancing with joy as he ran into the arms of Jesus. I'm sure Jesus did the same thing as He welcomed Fred with open arms. Fred was just an all-around wonderful man, truly a saint in every sense of the word. His favorite scripture was, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21. I know Fred and his wife and son must've talked many times about his death and all of the emotions they would feel.....I believe he would've done his ever-loving best to help them prepare. He would get excited when he talked about heaven, but he would also acknowledge the sorrow people feel when they lose a loved one. He knew his family would grieve for him, and I believe that's one of the reasons he was able to hang on for so long. But, I'm also certain, that when he knew the hour was nearing, he was at perfect peace. I know his family now feels the peace of God as they mourn the loss of Fred but also rejoice in his home-going. The great news is that we will see him again, and when that time comes, it will seem as though no time has passed. What blessed hope we have ... the blessed assurance that Jesus meant what he said in John 14:1-4. So, goodbye, Pastor Fred. Enjoy your eternal reward!

Modern Day Woes

I had been promising the kids a Wii with my tax refund figuring that it would help us all be a bit more active in the winter and me in the summer, too. They also wanted one really badly. Well, I don't have my tax refund yet but did get my dependent child care reimbursement from my flexible spending account. So, today we went and bought a Wii. I read the box and discovered that only 1 remote comes with it.....with 4 kids I knew that wouldn't be enough. So, I had to buy 3 more. Of course, we also needed to get at least 1 game. I about had a heart attack when I saw the prices of all of those things. Nintendo DS games are bad enough but the Wii stuff just adds insult to injury...especially with all of the "extras" that have to be bought with various games. So, after nearly hyperventilating, we came home with all of the stuff. The next adventure was trying to set this thing up. And, when I say adventure, I mean adventure. Connecting the console was okay....it was the synchronizing the remotes and then trying to get the game we bought to recognize the remotes. I finally had to call a few people for Wii help but no one was there. So, I told Marcie to turn the console off and then back on. That worked -- the console recognized all of the remotes but we still couldn't get more than one remote to work. So, we switched to the sports game disk. After more trouble, the kids finally got it working (or actually Marcie got it working!) and they have played tennis and golf. Needless to say, listening to their interactions from the other room while I was cooking supper and then later working on bath water has been hilarious. Sounds like this, "Kyle, stop it; No, Joanna; Joanna, what are you doing?, Stop moving it; Will you stop?!!; You almost hitted me in the face!", etc. So, now they are playing baseball. I tried my hand at it and thought I was hitting the ball out of the ballpark only to discover that the outfielders can really catch. Oh, well.

Now it is past bedtime and the kids want to keep playing. Celebrity Apprentice has already started and I can't watch it because of the Wii. Guess I better get used to it.

In the meantime, CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE INVENT A GAMING SYSTEM THAT DOESN'T COST AN ARM AND A LEG FOR THE COMPONENTS AND MAKE IT IDIOT-PROOF?!!

Goalie Extraordinaire!

Charlie's and Kyle's soccer games this morning didn't conflict, thank goodness! Charlie played at 9, or shall I say, he showed up, looked really great, had a water bottle, and enjoyed hanging out on the field -- running as little as possible and watching the general direction of the ball. He did get his foot on it once but for the most part, he acted as though running around really wasn't necessary. He was truly relaxed! His team did play really well against some older and taller players. They only lost by 1 point.

Kyle, on the other hand, was really into it. He is so focused on soccer and his intensity is a little scary for one so young. He is all business when it comes to the game. He reminds me of my oldest nephew with his focus and intensity. He played 2 1/2 quarters and was goalie the entire first quarter. He prevented 4 scores by the other team! He was with it the entire time he was goalie. The other team did score on them but not while Kyle was goalie! He ran up and down the field and got his foot on the ball a lot. His team won the game but it's not really about keeping score. :)

A couple of weeks ago while I was bathing Kyle, he looked at me and said, "Mom, thank you for signing me up for soccer." I guess that's one thing I got right!

Running -- a follow-up

Marcie came in 10th in her class. The 1st graders ran a 1/2 mile. She was very proud of herself but said she wanted to run faster. I won't complain if she practices as long as it's not in the house! The 3rd graders ran a mile. Charlie's time was 10:48, after which he had an asthma attack and had to go to the nurse for his inhaler. I am sending a note so that next time he gets his inhaler BEFORE he runs! I don't know how he placed in his group but I know that had I been running with him, he would have won! :)

I still don't have Joanna's results. She remembers running but that's about it. I'll post it when I find out!

Mom & Dad Guess What?

Kyle came home today with a paper that began with, "Mom & Dad guess what?" It went on to say, "I ran a 1/4 mile in PE and it took me 1:58 minutes." The teacher wrote on it, "1st in class."

Kyle had told me that they were running in PE and he said he won one race. Then he said, "there's another boy what has really fast feet....he won one race, too."

I think Kyle is definitely going to be my all-around athlete!

Thinking of Haiti

I'm not sure how Marcie heard this because we weren't home in time for the news, but somehow she heard that Michelle Obama made a surprise trip to Haiti. As she was getting in the bathtub, she asked, "Haiti?! Are the people still hurt there?" I replied that they were and while there were some doctors and hospitals that could help, there weren't enough and people still needed help. She said, "Well, you have to go then. Somebody's got to get them all fixed." Trying to recover from my shock, I said, "Well, I would like to go but I have to be here with you..." She interrupted and said, "you could find someone to take care of us so you can go.." and then we were interrupted by another one of my kids who had some sort of urgent need (now I can't remember what). But, I was so impressed that she was willing to stay with someone else so that I could leave for awhile....or, maybe, she wants me out of the way so that she can have unlimited DS and computer time, stay up late, sleep late in the morning, etc. It is also neat to realize that she has listened when I talk about Haiti and how I used to go there, and that she thinks I can do something about the situation there. If I could only "fix" it!

I look forward to the day when we can all go on missions trips together....maybe to Haiti, even. I hope I can afford it.... I really need to save those pennies! For now, though, I am just excited that my 7 year old is developing an understanding of helping others.

Adoption Gone Wrong

I guess by now everyone has heard of the mother who sent her 7 year old adopted son back to Russia. Reporters have tried to cover the story from every angle, and just this morning, I heard that the mother hasn't been charged with anything yet. Apparently, her attorney will speak tomorrow. The grandmother has been talking, as well. There still are some missing details, but no matter what, the fact that a 7 year old child was sent on a flight (or multiple) nearly halfway around the world unattended is scary to me.

Were the reasons justified? If so, or even if not, the bottom line is that a child was sent away alone. Doesn't even a criminally insane child (is there such a category for a 7 year old?) deserve to be escorted on transcontinental flights? Was it really even safe? I am wondering why the parent hasn't been charged with child endangerment at the very least.

That said, I can't imagine the disappointment and desperation that she and her mother might have felt. I know a lot of adoptive parents, and also biological parents, are disappointed in their children. Sometimes the personalities don't jive, there's no chemistry, there may even be dislike (I remember a few years ago, Dr. Phil did a show on parents who did not like their children....these were biological children). I remember learning in nursing school that new mothers need to adjust to the reality of the baby -- a baby different than the one she imagined before the baby is born. The honeymoon wears off quickly with pain and unbearable fatigue setting in as the baby is squalling for yet more attention. I understand that (not the physical aftermath of child birth but the stress of caring for a newborn without live in help). I am certainly not a perfect parent, and do understand a little about difficulty in bonding, but I can't even fathom leaving a child in the custody of airline officials for the lengthy flights. I know there has got to be more to the story, and I certainly don't want to be judgemental. This whole situation and countless others simply bring attention to the fact that pre-adoption preparation and post-adoption services are critical.

Sadly, Russian officials are considering suspending adoptions again. Several Russian children have died in their adoptive parents' custody (at the hands of the parent) and now this child being returned seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I can understand their outrage. Yet, in every culture, every society, there are parents that kill their children. Humans kill each other -- it has happened since Cain and Abel -- the direct result of sin in this world. Parents also abandon their children, and that happens all over the world, as well. Unfortunately, adoptive parents are held to a higher standard and when they fail, it affects adoption for everyone. The thousands of success stories are outweighed by the very small percentage of tragedies. So sad, but also so very human.

The real victims are the children -- those abused and killed certainly, but also, the countless others left in orphanages that will never get a family of their own. Many never would anyway, but even those that could be helped, who have parents pushing paperwork or waiting for court dates or at any point in the process, may not get their families. Ever. Not only that, but more countries could also close adoptions to single parents, as some have already done. My philosophy, as you might've already guessed, is one parent is better than no parent at all. The pitfalls of single parenting don't even come close to the pitfalls of being raised in an institution, which is even far worse than being caught in the middle of divorcing parents and being pulled in both directions.

Bottom line, humans are human. Apart from the grace of God, we struggle and fail dismally. We fail each other, we fail our children, we fail God. I hope and pray that the U.S. and Russian officials reach some type of agreement and that adoption agencies all over the world step up pre-adoption education. I know it's not a guarantee because most people enter adoption with rose-colored glasses thinking the worst case scenario will never happen to them. I understand that, too. But, at least, maybe we can work a little harder preparing parents to parent hurt children. And, then keep praying for those children and their parents.

The Pain! The Pain!

Yesterday morning, after squatting next to Kyle's bed to check his blood sugar, I stood up and pain shot through the small of my back, over both hips and down both legs to my feet. I couldn't even stand up straight. After hobbling around and getting the kids ready for school, I could actually move a little easier, though, my back was still really hurting. I dropped the kids off at the sitters and headed into work. After 30 minutes in the car, I could barely get out. My back and hip muscles just didn't want to cooperate. Walking seemed to really help and although I was in pain all day, I could work. Each time I would sit down for a few minutes, I had a hard time standing up straight. I would hobble around bent over and then finally my muscles would cooperate a little and I could straighten up. It's a good thing I already had my physical therapy appointment scheduled. My therapist could see me walking from my car in the parking lot, so she knew it was bad. After the electrical stimulation, heat, and lots of pounding and working the joints and muscles by my therapist, I could move a little better but my back still hurt. Thank God for heat and ibuprofen!

It is the wierdest thing -- I've been getting physical therapy since early December because I had frozen hip joints. This past weekend, in spite of the busy-ness, I had virtually no pain. It was the best weekend I've had (pain-wise) since last fall. And then, this all happened on Tuesday. I wish there were a cure for aging other than death! In therapy yesterday when it was time to get off of the heating pad, I couldn't remember how to sit up -- it was too painful to sit up the way I normally do and every time I moved, the pain would shoot through my back. At one point I commented that it was really funny that I couldn't move when I actually had to think about it. The therapist made a soothing remark (something like it's not really funny) and I just laughed. I said, "when you get to this point all you can do is laugh." I mean, really, what else can I do?