New Day Care Arrangements

My children are now staying with a friend who has an in-home daycare. She normally keeps infants through preschoolers but had some openings, and decided to keep school-age kids so that her 6 year old would not be so bored. I also think she was ready to work with children who are a bit more mature! At any rate, she kept Charlie and Marcie when they were young but was afraid to take care of Kyle because of his diabetes. Now that we've been friends for so long and she's seen me check his blood sugars and manage his pump many times, she has become a little less afraid. The first day (Monday), she called me a few times to be sure she was doing it right but didn't need to call me the next 2 days. She, and her co-worker, Amelia, have taken it seriously and work together to meet his needs. In 3 days they've done a bit better than the folks at the previous daycare did, so I'm pleased.

Marcie has behaved very well but Hopie is like her second mom so I wasn't the least bit surprised. Kyle and Joanna, though, have been testing their limits. In just 3 days, Hope has seen the characteristics that Joanna displays that were downplayed by her previous caregiver. The first day Joanna didn't want to stay downstairs with the other children and while she wasn't aggressive about it, she was stubborn and refused to go downstairs when Hope told her to. Hope had to take her by the shoulders and gently move her. Joanna then complied. Joanna also took some M & M's without asking and tried to hide it. Hope spoke with her about that, as well, but let her have them (okay with me). Hope told me that she's already seen the behaviors that Joanna displays when she thinks she's not being watched -- mouthy (in a soft voice), stubborn, lying, not really nice to other children, sneaky, etc. These are all behaviors that came from being in an orphanage and I think also learned from being in daycare with other kids. It's not that they're so abnormal for a child but it's the fact that she so skillfully (or maybe not so skillfully) hides them from adults. Her more recent daycare teacher for the most part overlooked these things and always gave glowing reports when I would pick Joanna up from daycare. Kyle and Marcie, though, were always thrilled to give me a more accurate report. There were only 2 occasions when Joanna was more blatently stubborn and defiant and that caregiver was really surprised. I feel like I'm always a naysayer when it comes to Joanna but I don't want people to be fooled by her cuteness and her quiet and sweet demeaner. If she's allowed to continue with these behaviors, they will just get worse and one day, she'll get something back at her very harshly either by another child or by being punished at school (detention, suspension, etc.). I think it will be easier to guide her to more appropriate behaviors now than later. She needs to learn that being cute and sweet is not a cover for her negative behaviors. In case you're wondering, I do praise her for positive behaviors and do so to the extreme sometimes, often in front of her siblings and others so that she can feel proud of herself and understand that she's capable of behaving well. I have hugged her often when she has helped me and at other times when she has done well. She is a neat kid; just needs help in learning socially acceptable behaviors. I feel so much better that she's in a situation where she will be sent to time out for behaving poorly and also rewarded for behaving well. Hope is much more skilled than I am at loving discipline.

Then there's Kyle. You know, he's a really great kid, too, and I love his little pouty face. I don't reward him for pouting, but when I see that face, I just laugh inside. He has been more openly disobedient and when I got to Hope's yesterday, she told me what he had done wrong and her co-worker, Amelia, chimed in that he had been really good the rest of the day. So, I told him to go on over to Hopie to get his spanking. He slowly walked over to her and turned around then burst into tears. He was going to accept his punishment. We all laughed and also got a little teary. I, of course, hugged him and said that we were just kidding but that he did need to behave. He skipped off happily after that. I guess we were a little mean and I won't do that again but it was really funny. Hope told me that Kyle has been so sweet with the babies (she has 2 under a year, and yes, I'm getting my baby fix!). He tries to console them when they are fussy and he talks tenderly to them. That is the really great thing about multi-age daycare -- the older kids really see that the younger ones need more attention. I think that's why Charlie did so well when I brought Marcie home -- he had seen Hope care for babies and he waited his turn when he was with her (and he also helped as best as a 2 year old, developmentally delayed, child could). Back to Kyle -- I told him that I thought he was going to be a great dad when he grows up. He just smiled his little sweet smile.

So, I'm very happy with my new daycare arrangements. I know my kids will be getting awesome care. Their caregivers at their previous daycare loved them, too, but it had gotten so chaotic and was too darned expensive! My new arrangement is the right price dollar-wise, but priceless in that Hope and Amelia love my children. No amount of field trips or pricey "enrichment" programs can replace that!

He's At Camp!

Charlie is at camp -- his first ever sleepover camp! He has been so excited but this weekend, he started having some anxiety. At 4AM Saturday, I heard him gag. He didn't vomit then, but he started vomiting at 7AM. Everytime he moved after that, he would gag and retch. He never really had much volume to it and he had no fever, so I quickly figured out the problem. I had started him on Desmopressin a week ago to see if he could stay dry overnight. It did reduce his urine volume, but he was waking up in the mornings with a sore throat, and he was asking for more water. By Friday, he was more constipated than usual, and stupid me, let him have macaroni and cheese for lunch! He ate well all day, even at dinner, and drank some water before bedtime. At 4, he got up and went to the bathroom but said there wasn't much "pee" and that his belly hurt. I think he got dehydrated from the Desmopressin, which made the constipation worse and the macaroni and cheese must've done him in. He dry-heaved all morning, so I finally called the pediatrician and got some zofran for him. I gave him his first dose at 3:20PM and by 4, he was acting like his old self. He needed 2 more doses by 12 midnight but when he got up on Sunday morning, he said, "Mom, I feel much more better!" Needless to say, he got a lot of Miralax this weekend and no more desmopressin!

But, the fact that he needed so much care I think really worried him. He asked me last night, "What if I get sick?" and he also told me that he thought I might die when he was at camp. I asked him if he knew something that I didn't know! Basically, I reassured him that he was going to love camp and if he got sick, the camp moms and the nurse could help him. I also told him that they would call me if they needed me. This morning, he was so excited but then said, "what if I'm a little bit scared?" So, we had a nice talk in the car on the way over about how sometimes new things are a little scary but after you try them, you realize that you're not scared anymore. I told him about a couple of times that I had been a little scared when trying something. He seemed satisfied and everytime I turned around to look at him and talk about all of the fun things at camp, he would smile. When we got to church and he saw the busses in the parking lot he was really excited. I don't think he had thought much about how they would get to camp and he was thrilled by the look of the tour busses! He looked a bit sad as he hugged me good-bye, but he readily jumped up and went with his counselor when his name was called. I stood outside talking to 2 other brave moms and we waved as the busses pulled out of the parking lot.

You might be wondering how I managed to hold up....well, my little boy was a little scared, so I had to be brave for him. I think the gift of acting has to come along with motherhood! I have already written a card for him and will send another one tomorrow. The one I'm sending tomorrow is a music card, so he'll be thrilled. I'll be keeping my cell phone on at night in case they need to call from camp but I'm hoping they won't. I want him to have a terrific time and to be reassured that he can leave and I won't die while he's away. (I hope I don't!)

Last Day of School

Well, it's all over for this academic year. Charlie and Marcie got really good report cards and are moving on to the next grade level. Kyle and Joanna "graduated" from preschool and will be kindergarteners in the fall. Hooray! No more all day daycare except for school breaks! I did manage to make it back to KinderCare after leaving the elementary school. There was really no graduation ceremony -- a teacher did hand out "diplomas" and said some nice words about each child. I left there and went back up to the elementary school and after that, took Charlie and Marcie to Friendly's for lunch as a reward for their good report cards. They are at KinderCare now and I am going to do some errands before I have to go get them.

It's a little sad to see the classrooms all packed up for the summer. The school really seems so different when the children aren't there and aren't coming back on Monday. We had to return after lunch to pick up Charlie's medicines because I forgot to do that before we left this morning. The art teacher and a few other teachers were working on the bulletin boards so that they would be ready for summer school (the month of July). After that, I'm sure September 8th will come quickly!

Milestones Accomplished

It's June 11th -- one day before the last day of school this year. Joanna and Kyle are graduating from preschool tomorrow (at 11AM, no less!) and Charlie and Marcie have their last day of 2nd grade and Kindergarten, respectively. It seems like just yesterday I was buying bookbags and school supplies; and here it is June and the crayons are broken and the bookbags are worn. The elementary school has "community day" on the last day of school. The kids march around the school and then each grade level does a dance. The PTA President will speak and so will the principal. After the speeches and dances, everyone goes inside for classroom activities and then a magic show in the cafetorium. It is a great way to end the school year. I went last year and stayed all morning and was amazed at the number of teachers who were emotional at the site of the school busses pulling out for the last time. The kids were hanging out the windows and everyone was waving and shouting "good-bye." I won't get to see that this year as I have to run up to the daycare center to watch Joanna and Kyle "graduate." The "graduates" will sing 2 very short songs and the teacher will make a few remarks and then the parents and graduates will eat. They usually have this program in the evening but this year they are doing it in the middle of the day. I will be leaving the kids at the daycare center because it is their last day so I want them to have the afternoon to say their good-byes. On Monday, they will be going to a friend's home, where they will be for child care. They are excited about the change. Charlie will be going off to an overnight camp next week and he is really excited about that.

Our summer plans include some camps for Charlie and Marcie, dance classes for the older 3 (Kyle doesn't want to take dance) and a vacation in August. We will also try to visit friends from time to time but will have to look for lower cost recreational activities because after paying for camps and classes, my bank is empty! :)

Summer, here we come!

I Can Do Some Things Right

These are the things I've gotten right recently:

Carnation Instant Breakfast -- I bought it for Marcie hoping to get a few extra calories and nutrients in her since she eats very poorly for lunch, sweets for breakfast, and mostly vegetables and fruits for dinner (i.e. very little protein intake during the day). Well, Marcie hated it but Charlie loves it! He pronounced me the "best mom ever" after I let him have it the other morning.

Tooth Fairy -- remembering to put Joanna's tooth under her pillow. The tooth fairy left her $5 for the first lost tooth and $3 for the most recent tooth (last night). (The tooth fairy always gives a bit more for the first lost tooth because it's such a milestone). So, the morning after the first tooth was under her pillow, Joanna said, "Look Mom, The tooth fairy left me one dollar," and this morning, she said, "Mom -- the tooth fairy left me two dollars." She was happy with $2; imagine her joy when I said, "You better count again!"

Sweet smelling breath -- Marcie does not ever want to brush her teeth. It's not that she doesn't like doing it; she doesn't like the effort it takes to go into the bathroom to brush before bedtime because she's "too tired" and in the morning, she wants to "do it later." So, when she smelled my breath after I brushed my teeth, she said, "I wish I had a mint so that my breath could smell good." I produced a lifesaver (she said, "that's not a mint"), told her that it would help and that she must start brushing her teeth! She was very happy with that lifesaver.

Movie night -- I promised "movie night" tonight if they behave well, complete with "potcorn" (as Joanna says) and caffeine-free diet coke or orange drink. They love movie night but rarely finish the pop corn or the movie, so that's nice for me -- They're happy and quiet, then go to bed quickly and I get the rest of the popcorn!

We are looking forward to a sunny weekend and a pool party on Sunday. Happy Birthday, Carson!

I am one mean mama!

It's not a title that I'm necessarily proud of, but I think, one that reflects the necessity of providing strong discipline. I think my kids expect it from time to time. The other day, I discovered (with Charlie's help) that Kyle was throwing little rocks from my driveway onto my front porch. At least that was better than him throwing them on my car, which he and Charlie had done just a few days prior. I told Kyle that he had to put the rocks in his hand in the driveway and go straight to his bedroom for time out. Then, I said, "On second thought, you put those rocks back in the driveway and clean up all of these other rocks from the porch." I then went inside to continue making dinner. When dinner was ready (only about 7 minutes later), I went outside to call Kyle in figuring that he was still working. Well, he wasn't on the front porch or in the front yard. I asked the other kids if Kyle had come in and they said "no," then Charlie said Kyle was in the back yard. So, I asked him to go to the back yard to get Kyle in. I went back into the kitchen to put the food on the plates and the next thing I hear is, "Mom, can I get out of my room now?" Kyle had already come in and put himself into his room! Oh, and the rocks were all cleaned off of the porch.

Yesterday, they were all testing limits, well, except Joanna. At one point, Marcie and Kyle were in time out in their rooms and then I fussed at Charlie for copping an attitude with me. I threatened him with going to his room but he quieted down quickly. About 15 minutes later, he came and apologized. It was so sweet! Marcie also apologized with some coaxing and she was reasonably well behaved for the rest of the evening. Kyle did fine after time out, as well. Joanna knew she had come out smelling like a rose and promptly asked if she could have candy after dinner because she had behaved. You know what the answer was to that!

I knew it wouldn't last. Joanna was so stubborn this morning and simply refused to talk. She has several mosquito bites that were itching and I told her that I would put some cream on them but she had to use her words and ask for it. (I'm trying to teach her to communicate her needs using words, which she is quite capable of). I told her at least 3 times between breakfast and being dropped off at daycare that I would put it on her bug bites if she asked for it. She never did, so I never did. The only thing she said to me was "yes" when I asked her if she understood and told her that she had to open her mouth and talk to answer. So, I guess she wanted to suffer with itchy bug bites today, because she sure as heck didn't want to talk. I think she'll realize fast once she gets to kindergarten in the fall that if she wants something, she'll have to ask because people are not mind-readers!

May!

Did you think I was never going to post again? I didn't realize it had been so long. The events of that last weekend in March are still fresh in my memory so it's hard to believe it was so long ago! April was a very busy month. I was extremely busy at work and then with soccer and dance lessons, it seemed that every minute was taken up. We did have some nice, busy weekends and some fun with friends.

Marcie's dance recital was this past weekend, and as usual, she did a terrific job. She really is quite good for only having finished her 3rd year in dance. Age-wise, she was supposed to have been in the Kinderdance (4 and 5 year olds) when I enrolled her last fall but she was so serious about her dance that I moved her up to the 6 and 7 year old group (combination D) last September. That was a good decision as she really did pay attention in class, try hard and practiced a lot at home. It paid off and she performed very well. My tap students were nervous but they did a nice job, as well.

I got Kyle and Joanna registered for Kindergarten. All 4 of my kids will be in school in the fall! Both did fairly well on their "Brigance" testing. I was amazed at how well Kyle did considering he had only been in the 4 year old classroom at daycare for about 4 weeks prior to the testing. He scored a 72. Joanna, who had been in that classroom since last June, scored a 78. I think 100 is the highest score possible with scores below 68 indicating the need for more work prior to school starting. So, I was very proud of Kyle.

Speaking of Kyle and having moved to the 4 year old room -- yes, he finally did it! He finally figured out how to keep his pants dry! He is now fully potty-trained and is nearly always dry (sometimes his underwear get a little wet) and he is often dry at night. He is still a silly and relatively immature little boy for his age (but that's typical of boys!) and he's smart as a whip. I am really looking forward to watching him blossom with more educational opportunities. He can even read a few words and he just loves to learn. He has a very analytical brain, so I am looking forward to a future engineer making the big bucks to support his Mom in her old age! (Just kidding! I hope to be self-supporting!).

Joanna is still very quiet and obedient for the most part. She is a bit sneaky but seems to not hide things as much as she used to (unless she's getting better at it and I'm getting worse at finding them). She sometimes still has strange answers for the questions she's asked and she still lies a lot. She also still carries around paper and loves to fold and unfold paper. She enjoyed the dance recital and when people ask her if she wants to dance, she hesitates and then nods. She's never asked for dance classes, though. I think she's more of an artist. She seems happiest when she has paper and crayons. Because she gets preschool special ed services, and she has one more year of her IEP, she'll have special ed support for Kindergarten. I am glad because I think language processing is still an issue for her and that's why her responses to questions seem so strange. Maybe it explains some of the lying, too, as she has to search her brain for the correct words.

Prima Donna Marcie is doing exceedingly well in school and just loves the social opportunities school presents. Last night was Science Night at their school and the Kindergarteners sang. She looked so cute! My friend snapped a picture so after she sends it to me electronically, I'll post it.
Charlie just finished a science project -- a diarama (is that how you spell it?) of a habitat for an animal that the child could choose. Charlie picked "bear" initially, then narrowed it down to polar bear. He did a nice job and really loved his work. He did pull his science grade up from a "M" (minimal progress) to an "S" this past 9 weeks. He is working really hard in school but still struggling with language arts and reading.

So, that's where we are at the moment. I am still trying to figure out how to use coupons, etc., to save a little money. It just seems to take more time than I have but now that my spring semester is over, maybe I won't be so crazed. I do have students this summer but the grading isn't quite as extensive so I won't have so much to bring home at night. Now, if the weather could stay warm, it will really feel like summer is here!