Pastor Fred

Many of you know that my church family lost a beloved pastor, Fred Spivey. He died last Sunday, fittingly on Pentecost Sunday, and he was buried today on his birthday. He was a devoted son, husband, father, uncle, friend and pastor (and I'm sure there are other roles I'm leaving out). Pastor Fred also served his country. He loved the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength, and it showed. Fred was active in missions, but truly, he served wherever he found himself and ministered tirelessly to us all. He truly showed us how to live, and then how to die. The last Sunday School series he taught was on heaven, and when I found out that he had died, I just had to smile at the thought of Fred dancing with joy as he ran into the arms of Jesus. I'm sure Jesus did the same thing as He welcomed Fred with open arms. Fred was just an all-around wonderful man, truly a saint in every sense of the word. His favorite scripture was, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21. I know Fred and his wife and son must've talked many times about his death and all of the emotions they would feel.....I believe he would've done his ever-loving best to help them prepare. He would get excited when he talked about heaven, but he would also acknowledge the sorrow people feel when they lose a loved one. He knew his family would grieve for him, and I believe that's one of the reasons he was able to hang on for so long. But, I'm also certain, that when he knew the hour was nearing, he was at perfect peace. I know his family now feels the peace of God as they mourn the loss of Fred but also rejoice in his home-going. The great news is that we will see him again, and when that time comes, it will seem as though no time has passed. What blessed hope we have ... the blessed assurance that Jesus meant what he said in John 14:1-4. So, goodbye, Pastor Fred. Enjoy your eternal reward!

Modern Day Woes

I had been promising the kids a Wii with my tax refund figuring that it would help us all be a bit more active in the winter and me in the summer, too. They also wanted one really badly. Well, I don't have my tax refund yet but did get my dependent child care reimbursement from my flexible spending account. So, today we went and bought a Wii. I read the box and discovered that only 1 remote comes with it.....with 4 kids I knew that wouldn't be enough. So, I had to buy 3 more. Of course, we also needed to get at least 1 game. I about had a heart attack when I saw the prices of all of those things. Nintendo DS games are bad enough but the Wii stuff just adds insult to injury...especially with all of the "extras" that have to be bought with various games. So, after nearly hyperventilating, we came home with all of the stuff. The next adventure was trying to set this thing up. And, when I say adventure, I mean adventure. Connecting the console was okay....it was the synchronizing the remotes and then trying to get the game we bought to recognize the remotes. I finally had to call a few people for Wii help but no one was there. So, I told Marcie to turn the console off and then back on. That worked -- the console recognized all of the remotes but we still couldn't get more than one remote to work. So, we switched to the sports game disk. After more trouble, the kids finally got it working (or actually Marcie got it working!) and they have played tennis and golf. Needless to say, listening to their interactions from the other room while I was cooking supper and then later working on bath water has been hilarious. Sounds like this, "Kyle, stop it; No, Joanna; Joanna, what are you doing?, Stop moving it; Will you stop?!!; You almost hitted me in the face!", etc. So, now they are playing baseball. I tried my hand at it and thought I was hitting the ball out of the ballpark only to discover that the outfielders can really catch. Oh, well.

Now it is past bedtime and the kids want to keep playing. Celebrity Apprentice has already started and I can't watch it because of the Wii. Guess I better get used to it.

In the meantime, CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE INVENT A GAMING SYSTEM THAT DOESN'T COST AN ARM AND A LEG FOR THE COMPONENTS AND MAKE IT IDIOT-PROOF?!!

Goalie Extraordinaire!

Charlie's and Kyle's soccer games this morning didn't conflict, thank goodness! Charlie played at 9, or shall I say, he showed up, looked really great, had a water bottle, and enjoyed hanging out on the field -- running as little as possible and watching the general direction of the ball. He did get his foot on it once but for the most part, he acted as though running around really wasn't necessary. He was truly relaxed! His team did play really well against some older and taller players. They only lost by 1 point.

Kyle, on the other hand, was really into it. He is so focused on soccer and his intensity is a little scary for one so young. He is all business when it comes to the game. He reminds me of my oldest nephew with his focus and intensity. He played 2 1/2 quarters and was goalie the entire first quarter. He prevented 4 scores by the other team! He was with it the entire time he was goalie. The other team did score on them but not while Kyle was goalie! He ran up and down the field and got his foot on the ball a lot. His team won the game but it's not really about keeping score. :)

A couple of weeks ago while I was bathing Kyle, he looked at me and said, "Mom, thank you for signing me up for soccer." I guess that's one thing I got right!

Running -- a follow-up

Marcie came in 10th in her class. The 1st graders ran a 1/2 mile. She was very proud of herself but said she wanted to run faster. I won't complain if she practices as long as it's not in the house! The 3rd graders ran a mile. Charlie's time was 10:48, after which he had an asthma attack and had to go to the nurse for his inhaler. I am sending a note so that next time he gets his inhaler BEFORE he runs! I don't know how he placed in his group but I know that had I been running with him, he would have won! :)

I still don't have Joanna's results. She remembers running but that's about it. I'll post it when I find out!

Mom & Dad Guess What?

Kyle came home today with a paper that began with, "Mom & Dad guess what?" It went on to say, "I ran a 1/4 mile in PE and it took me 1:58 minutes." The teacher wrote on it, "1st in class."

Kyle had told me that they were running in PE and he said he won one race. Then he said, "there's another boy what has really fast feet....he won one race, too."

I think Kyle is definitely going to be my all-around athlete!

Thinking of Haiti

I'm not sure how Marcie heard this because we weren't home in time for the news, but somehow she heard that Michelle Obama made a surprise trip to Haiti. As she was getting in the bathtub, she asked, "Haiti?! Are the people still hurt there?" I replied that they were and while there were some doctors and hospitals that could help, there weren't enough and people still needed help. She said, "Well, you have to go then. Somebody's got to get them all fixed." Trying to recover from my shock, I said, "Well, I would like to go but I have to be here with you..." She interrupted and said, "you could find someone to take care of us so you can go.." and then we were interrupted by another one of my kids who had some sort of urgent need (now I can't remember what). But, I was so impressed that she was willing to stay with someone else so that I could leave for awhile....or, maybe, she wants me out of the way so that she can have unlimited DS and computer time, stay up late, sleep late in the morning, etc. It is also neat to realize that she has listened when I talk about Haiti and how I used to go there, and that she thinks I can do something about the situation there. If I could only "fix" it!

I look forward to the day when we can all go on missions trips together....maybe to Haiti, even. I hope I can afford it.... I really need to save those pennies! For now, though, I am just excited that my 7 year old is developing an understanding of helping others.

Adoption Gone Wrong

I guess by now everyone has heard of the mother who sent her 7 year old adopted son back to Russia. Reporters have tried to cover the story from every angle, and just this morning, I heard that the mother hasn't been charged with anything yet. Apparently, her attorney will speak tomorrow. The grandmother has been talking, as well. There still are some missing details, but no matter what, the fact that a 7 year old child was sent on a flight (or multiple) nearly halfway around the world unattended is scary to me.

Were the reasons justified? If so, or even if not, the bottom line is that a child was sent away alone. Doesn't even a criminally insane child (is there such a category for a 7 year old?) deserve to be escorted on transcontinental flights? Was it really even safe? I am wondering why the parent hasn't been charged with child endangerment at the very least.

That said, I can't imagine the disappointment and desperation that she and her mother might have felt. I know a lot of adoptive parents, and also biological parents, are disappointed in their children. Sometimes the personalities don't jive, there's no chemistry, there may even be dislike (I remember a few years ago, Dr. Phil did a show on parents who did not like their children....these were biological children). I remember learning in nursing school that new mothers need to adjust to the reality of the baby -- a baby different than the one she imagined before the baby is born. The honeymoon wears off quickly with pain and unbearable fatigue setting in as the baby is squalling for yet more attention. I understand that (not the physical aftermath of child birth but the stress of caring for a newborn without live in help). I am certainly not a perfect parent, and do understand a little about difficulty in bonding, but I can't even fathom leaving a child in the custody of airline officials for the lengthy flights. I know there has got to be more to the story, and I certainly don't want to be judgemental. This whole situation and countless others simply bring attention to the fact that pre-adoption preparation and post-adoption services are critical.

Sadly, Russian officials are considering suspending adoptions again. Several Russian children have died in their adoptive parents' custody (at the hands of the parent) and now this child being returned seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I can understand their outrage. Yet, in every culture, every society, there are parents that kill their children. Humans kill each other -- it has happened since Cain and Abel -- the direct result of sin in this world. Parents also abandon their children, and that happens all over the world, as well. Unfortunately, adoptive parents are held to a higher standard and when they fail, it affects adoption for everyone. The thousands of success stories are outweighed by the very small percentage of tragedies. So sad, but also so very human.

The real victims are the children -- those abused and killed certainly, but also, the countless others left in orphanages that will never get a family of their own. Many never would anyway, but even those that could be helped, who have parents pushing paperwork or waiting for court dates or at any point in the process, may not get their families. Ever. Not only that, but more countries could also close adoptions to single parents, as some have already done. My philosophy, as you might've already guessed, is one parent is better than no parent at all. The pitfalls of single parenting don't even come close to the pitfalls of being raised in an institution, which is even far worse than being caught in the middle of divorcing parents and being pulled in both directions.

Bottom line, humans are human. Apart from the grace of God, we struggle and fail dismally. We fail each other, we fail our children, we fail God. I hope and pray that the U.S. and Russian officials reach some type of agreement and that adoption agencies all over the world step up pre-adoption education. I know it's not a guarantee because most people enter adoption with rose-colored glasses thinking the worst case scenario will never happen to them. I understand that, too. But, at least, maybe we can work a little harder preparing parents to parent hurt children. And, then keep praying for those children and their parents.