Happy Play

The other night, I was fixing dinner and I heard Kyle say, "I want some milk for my baby." I thought it was sweet that he was playing with a doll, or so I thought. The next thing I heard was the sound of the McDonald's play set cash register and Marcie and Joanna trying to "push" chicken nuggets on Kyle. Then he said, "No, I want milk for my baby." Then, I heard Charlie making baby noises. It was so cute! Kyle started treating Charlie like a baby saying, "here, baby, here's your milk." This morning when Kyle got up, he came straight into the living room and yelled to the others, "Donald's is open!!!" Unfortunately, no one else was interested in fast food play this morning. :)

And Last But Not Least!

I have introduced you to everyone but Joanna, so now it's her turn! I brought Joanna home from China last May, just a few months after she turned 3. I had seen Joanna's picture on an agency photolisting and when I read her bio I thought she would fit right into our family... not because she was described as shy but because she enjoyed being around her "brothers and sisters" in the group foster home. The bio also noted that she was afraid of men though seemed to be overcoming that a little bit. I thought our family would be good for her because she would be living with a female single parent but would have the opportunity to develop healthy relationships with adult males in my extended family. I applied to adopt her -- really kind of thinking my application wouldn't be accepted since I was single with 3 children already, but God had other plans and now Joanna is part of our family.

Joanna is sweet and very shy, though, she really has come out of her shell these past few months. She is a much different child this summer than last summer. She has a good sense of humor and even teases a little bit from time to time. She loves Dora the Explorer and princesses. She likes carrying around little toys or folded up pieces of paper. She seems to have adjusted well to our family and often says that Kyle is her best friend. Just this summer, she has begun to play more interactively with the kids and seems to enjoy playing (yes, it has taken that long!). She still has moments of retreating into her shell but that doesn't happen as often as it used to. We still have some issues that need to be addressed but I do think she is happy. She enjoys being around our extended family and friends and gets excited when I tell her we are going to visit her grandparents and/or her aunts and uncles, as well as some of our close friends. When we combine a visit with some sort of ice cream event, she is even happier! She loves ice cream, which definitely qualifies her to be a part of our extended family. She even scrapes the bowl to get the last bit of it and did that before she ever saw me doing it, so I know it's a sign of a natural ice cream lover! So, yes, she really is one of us and we'll keep her!

The picture of her was taken a few months before I picked her up last May. It really shows her personality.

See, I big.

This one's about Kyle today. He definitely has the cute thing going and once he figures out how to use that to his advantage, he will be sailing through life! This past weekend, I decided that Kyle and Joanna were now tall enough to forego the high chair and booster seat. So, I removed them from the table. Kyle went to his place, now minus the high chair, and stood right where the chair would be up against the table. All I could see was his little face and shoulders. He said, "See, I big" and looked at me with those serious brown eyes. There was an expectancy to what he was saying and after I affirmed that he was getting big, he followed with, "Can I pass out the plates now?" He has been waiting for the day when I would let him carry to the table the plates that I fix in the kitchen. I had been telling him that he was too little to do that, so I guess, he's been waiting for the day when he was "big!" How could I say no to that face? So, I let him carry the dinner plates in while cautioning him to be very careful. He was and no food was spilled. Yay! So, now I will have 3 kids arguing over who gets to pass out the plates at suppertime. Oh, boy!

Kyle is a nearly 4 year old bundle of energy, adopted when he was 11 weeks old. Kyle has diabetes (from birth) and he handles it like a pro. He willing produces a foot or finger for blood sugar checks and recognizes that he is not supposed to have too much sugar. He also recognizes the feelings he gets when his blood sugar is low and will ask someone to check it if his belly feels bad. He wears an insulin pump and hasn't complained at all -- ever -- about having the pump on all the time. He doesn't even complain about the pump getting in his way while sleeping.

He loves Thomas the Train, Spiderman, Diego and anything about cars and trucks. He is exuberant over even the smallest little pleasures in his life. He loves his siblings and here lately has been soaking up all the hugs he can get from them. He gives the sweetest little kisses and can say your name with so much love in his voice, it's really indescribable. He is such a sweet little boy but also a very stubborn one. But, that's okay, because I'm really stubborn, too.... so, he's met his match! :)

I've attached a picture...sorry, these are a little bit old. I'll try to get some newer ones on before Christmas. Ha! Ha!

Okay, No Sociopaths Here!

My children have developed empathy and I saw it in action just yesterday (actually, I've seen it before at fleeting moments). Last night, I decided it was time to try to remove 4 splinters from Kyle's feet. I had some cream that can numb the skin surface, so I applied that to each of the spots and covered with a plastic dressing. Unfortunately, Kyle couldn't hold his feet still for 45 minutes (the time it takes for the cream to work) and 2 of the dressings came off. When I removed the first splinter from a site that the cream had stayed on, Kyle was fairly happy that it didn't hurt. However, as I began working on the 2nd one, he started complaining, and within a few minutes was crying, punctuated by intermittent screams. Joanna had been sitting next to him from the beginning and telling him it would be okay. She started holding his hand when he started screaming. Charlie came over to check on him and then prayed for him (it was so sweet!). Marcie tried talking to him while Charlie held the flashlight so that I could really see what I was working on. After a minute or 2, Charlie put down the flashlight and left the room. I just figured the screaming was bothering him. He came back a few minutes later with a "card" he had made for Kyle. On the front was a stenciled car with Charlie's name on the paper (something he had done in daycare) and on the back was a heart with I Love You written on it. Charlie folded the paper and gave it to Kyle. Between working on the 2nd and 3rd splinter, I let Kyle calm down and he opened it. He saw the car and said, "can I have a heart on it?" Charlie was so proud to say that he had drawn a heart on the back. Both boys hugged each other and then Marcie and Joanna got in on the hugging. While I was working on the next splinter, Charlie and Marcie went back to making cards and ended up taping candy to the envelopes (I still don't know where they found envelopes ... I'm afraid to look). Kyle netted 3 cards, 1 fun size skittles bag, 1 pack of 2 starburst candies and a jolly rancher. Needless to say, after I finished removing the splinters, he was all smiles holding his cards and candy!

How A Year Has Changed Things

I'm going to copy into this post excerpts from an email I sent to family and friends while I was in China. I wrote it after a bad bout of homesickness I was having, knowing that my kids left at home were also struggling. I am happy to say that I was able to get beyond that with the Lord's help, and while this past year has had its ups and downs, my children have recovered from their ordeal last May. I think Joanna still struggles with homesickness herself from time to time, and I have to remember how I felt last May when mine was just temporary. My sister had emailed during that time that the way I was feeling was how Joanna would feel only she wouldn't be able to go back to "get over" her homesickness. I was glad to go back and read that email because it reminded me of how I saw my child with new eyes. Here it is:

>
>Today started out pretty well. Si Mei and I are getting to know each other.
She is very sweet and quiet. When we are around other Chinese people, she
gets really quiet. her fear of strangers shows up == it shows that now I'm
not a stranger to her, so she does come to me when Chinese people she
doesn't know approach her. She is making excellent eye contact, which is
great for bonding. We took a plane to her province early this morning, and
shortly after we arrived in our hotel, we ate lunch (she largely played)
and then attempted to take a short nap. She had ice cream at lunch which
she loved! She will definitely fit in with my family! She kept scraping the
dish trying to get every last bite. Kathy used to tease me for doing that.
Anyway, a woman from her original orphange came today with some documents
that i needed to sign. They were very much like the documents that I signed
for Kyle and Charlie for the period of time that they were placed in my
care while I was in the process of supervision and finalization of their
adoptions. (Marcie's adoption was different as it was a parental placement,
or "open" adoption). The difference, though, is that tomorrow I will sign
the final papers and they will order her passport. They also took a picture
of Si Mei alone and one of me with her for some type of certificate I will
get. Anyway, after the signing of the documents, we changed our hotel rooms again (the
first 2 were just too smokey) and then Si Mei and I went for a walk. When I
talked with katie this morning (last night in Virginia) the kids had just
gone to bed so I didn't get to talk with them. Katie told me that Marcie
had a rough night Saturday night and was crying for me. That just broke my
heart, especially since i didn't get to talk to her and tell her that i
love her again. Well, all afternoon, i just kept thinking about marcie.
When it got quiet this evening and i didn't have anything occupying me, the
tears just started coming. So, I decided to take Si Mei to McDonalds. I
thought that would distract me enough, but it really didn't. So, we are
sitting there eating, and I'm trying to eat my french fries and this nasty
grilled chicken sandwich, and the tears were just streaming down my face.
What a sight we must have looked! Imagine it -- this American woman, with a
pretty little Chinese girl with a deformed eye, eating dinner -- the girl
quietly and the woman crying. People have been staring a lot at us (also
smiling and patting Si mei's head), but they were staring even more. The
security guard kept coming over and smiling at me. Poor Si Mei, she just
didn't know what to do. Silently, I was just praying for Marcie, Charlie
and Kyle, and that I would have peace... that God would watch over them,
etc. I was also thinking that maybe i am doing the wrong thing, I should
just give her back and come home as soon as possible, just forget the whole
thing...and also berating myself for leaving those children at home. i
looked down at my food, then the most amazing thing happened. i looked back
up at Si mei...Joanna, and i saw my daughter. She didn't look any
different. She was still quietly eating her food, but it was really wierd.
I just knew she was my little girl....as though she looked like me, but of
course, she doesn't. I was really "seeing" her with different eyes. It
actually made me stop crying for a few minutes. Then, I got a little
side-tracked because a woman and 9 year old child sat down at the table
next to us, and kept looking. Then the woman got out her daughter's English
book and motioned me over. She kept calling me "English teacher." So, I
went through some of the things in the book and corrected some of their
pronounciation. They were excited. It was really cute. By the time I left I
felt a little better, though, was still teary from time to time. Well then,
on the way back to the hotel, I was reminded of the parable of the lost
sheep. How the shepherd would leave the others to go find the one. That was
really moving. When Si Mei saw that i was a little better, she started
trying to play with me, smiling, and giggling a little. It was very sweet.
I know her brothers and sister are going to love her!

We had a good evening after that. i got her bathed and washed her hair.
She's sleeping now, and i'm still crying. Oh, how I wish I had gotten a
panda phone before I left the states. I haven't been able to get a phone
card here. i know they have them but the one the guide bought for another
family didn't work. So, the choices are credit call card from a payphone
(easy to do from the airport), or call from the hotel room and have it
billed to the room (more expensive, but I did it). Amy and Todd....I'll
remind you to plan for this before you go to China!

I know the kids will be okay. I just miss them so much. I can't wait to get
home to them.
>
Wow! I sure am glad to be home with all of my little sheep!

It Was Bound To Happen One Day

There are just some things you know you'd like to avoid dealing with. Well, one of those things popped up this weekend. On Friday, we went to the Dollar Tree (I love that store!) to get some of the water soakers so each child could have one in the pool. Of course the kids wanted other things, so I limited them to 2 items each (well, it got to be 3). Everyone was happy with their selections and we went home to a great day of pool play, then naps, then out to dinner with my parents for my birthday (thanks Mom and Dad!), then to the fireworks which didn't happen due to storms. It was a really enjoyable day all in all (especially that nice steak dinner -- did I say thanks, Mom and Dad?!!). My sweet darlings were getting their pajamas on after we got home and I picked up Marcie's clothes to put them in the dirty clothes (yes, I know, she needs to do this herself!). I noticed the shorts were lumpy, so I checked the pocket. You guessed it -- there was an item from the dollar store that I had not paid for. She claimed that it got there "on accident" then Charlie told the whole story. So, after the birthday party we went to Saturday morning, we went back to the store and found the assistant manager. I made Marcie hand the item back and fess up, which she very sweetly did. The manager just looked at her with compassion and gave her a big hug! Boy, was I surprised! I couldn't decide if I was relieved at how easy it was or a little upset that Marcie didn't get a stern lecture. Actually, I thought the manager was very nice and we chatted briefly before I quickly ushered all 4 kids out of the store before anyone else could pocket something. Okay -- no more store outings if they have clothes with pockets in them!!!!

Oh, What a Sweetie He Is!

Charlie, my first baby, is 7 now and just a joy to have around. Last night he came to me and asked me if I wanted him to dump the bathroom trash can into the kitchen trash can so that "I can be your good helper." That bathroom trash can was full of wet pull-ups so I know it didn't smell so great. I, of course, said "yes," and Charlie walked in with his arms around that trash can holding it close to his body. He emptied it and then returned it to the bathroom. As I walked by the kitchen trash can, I caught a whif (is that how you spell that?) of the pull-ups. Yuk!

Charlie is such a good big brother, too. Whenever the other kids are having trouble with something, he always tries to help. He also is quick to alert me when something is wrong with them. Last October, when Joanna's leg was broken (but we thought it was her ankle or foot that was hurt), I found Charlie carrying her down our front steps to the car. He had heard me say that I was going to take her to the doctor, and he just decided to make things move a little faster. He was just so sweet with her. This is all the more impressive given the fact that Charlie has mild cerebral palsy, and even some relatively light grocery bags are too heavy for him.

Last summer when he overheard me talking on the phone to a social worker about 2 young children who were waiting for an adoptive family, he suggested that we should take them. I wasn't sure what to say because, of course, I wanted them. I just said, "well, Charlie, we don't have enough beds at our house." After a few minutes of thought, he replied, "Well, I could share my bed and Marcie could share her bed." Boy that just got to me. I was heartbroken anyway over not being able to bring them to our home permanently (I had just gotten home from China with my 4th child and committing to 2 more for more than a few weeks seemed overwhelming), and then to hear Charlie innocently offering to share his bed just brought tears to my eyes. Several months later Charlie told me that he wanted us to adopt 2 kids from Africa "because I like that city." I basically said the same thing I had said before then suggested that he could adopt from Africa when he grows up and gets married and that I would help him with the kids. He replied, "but you can't marry your mom! As you can tell, there's no shortage of humor with that boy! :)

Charlie is one of the most delightful people I know in spite of all of the challenges he has faced over the years. He is sweet, sensitive, fun-loving, funny and just an overall great kid. He has the heart of an angel and I think he looks like one, too!

I've attached a picture of Charlie and Marcie.